


Reddie Evermore

by NessyParks



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28083525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NessyParks/pseuds/NessyParks
Summary: This is after the Losers defeat Pennywise for the second time, and Richie couldn't save Eddie. He stays in Derry and discovers a note tucked away in one of Eddie's old journals.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, The Losers Club & Richie Tozier
Kudos: 18





	Reddie Evermore

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Taylor Swift's new album Evermore.
> 
> Might end up being sad one shots for several songs.
> 
> This first one was written while listening to Tis the Damn Season.

Heartache. They just don't understand. Sure, we defeated Pennywise the Dancing Clown- and for good this time- but honestly, was it worth it when the cost was two of our friends? When the cost was my.. Eddie? We we're all supposed to make it out.. Eddie was supposed to make it out. He was supposed to have a happy ending.. We could've been happy.. 

"Richie, honey, he's gone.." Bev had said.  
I knew. I knew because my heart stopped with his, when he took his final breath. We could have gotten him out, gotten him resuscitated or at least given him a proper burial. 

All I can do now is sob.. Think about the rest of my life without him. Wake up from those dreams where he made it and we.. But then it's never real when I wake up. Why do I have to wake up?

The rest of the Losers made it back out of Derry, and apparently the spell broke with It because they haven't forgotten. They call to check in on me sometimes but they finally get to move on and be happy. 

I'm staying at my parents' house for awhile. They're old and don't mind their Richie staying to visit and lend a hand. I put on that happy face for them because they could never understand. Why so sad son? Where are ya disappearing to every day? I could never explain to them.. 

I take these daily walks roaming around all our old places.. Visit the club house, remembering how we fought all the time for that damned spot in the hammock and I just smile at the memories. 

Sometimes my feet lead me to the ruins of that stupid house.. As if I could dig you out.. On those days I'm glad that the remaining houses on Neibolt street have been abandoned because I end up crouching on the ground amongs the rubble, wanting to claw my heart out in crying agony. I was never one to be so emotional.  
It always leads to you.

Today I decided to visit your old house. Sonia died awhile ago but somehow the house stands just as it was left. Everything in it, covered in dust, the air stagnate. I was able just to open your door, it wasn't locked as if I was led here- like someone expected me- and I half-expected you to be on your old couch when I walked in. It hurts. God, it hurts. 

I make it up to your old room, up the stairs and first door to the left. My heart pounds harder and harder as I sit on your bed. It's made. Slumped pillows that were probably previously fluffed to look nice and the sheets and blanket are nicely layered and folded.. A sad, empty laugh cuts through the silence to be heard by only me.  
"Geez, Eds, was this your room or a hotel?"  
If you were here you'd tell me how 'of course you broke the silence.' 

I look at all your old abandoned things. Some marbles, the books and comics on your shelf, model cars, old prescription bottles, your fanny pack and old clothes.. A journal with your writing that's hidden in your closet. 

I flip through to see little drawings.. Writings and logs about how your day was going or what one of us had said to you.. As I flip through, one thing catches my eye more than the rest. 

This page looks crumbled up and then straightened out again.. You we're going to get rid of it.. But decided to keep it.

"I wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm faking."

I know if I keep reading that the heart I'm breaking is my own.. But you were the warmest feeling I'd ever known.

"After this huge fight we all had and my arm being broken, I miss your smile, hear me out!"

Was this.. A love letter? 

"There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me. I saw your face and you were in as much pain as I was when I broke my arm and you saw I was hurt. Am I overthinking? Well.. If it's all the same to you, it's the same to me. We can call it even." 

I can't believe you wrote this down.. 

"We were all mad, I remember how I watched you leave. But if you're okay with me, I'm okay with you."

It ends there.. The rest was scribbled out and erased. I shut the journal and I don't have the heart to put it back.. So I keep it. I hope that's okay.. 

"I have to get back to my parents, Eds.." My voice speaks without my mind thinking the words. "I don't know if I'll be back but I.. 

I love you." 

I say my goodbyes and leave the house with his journal.


End file.
